Friday, June 22, 2007

Alpaca Hugs

I've been a busy, busy girl...

I got my first lessons in windsurfing on Sunday. I'm HOOKED! It was awesome! It has everything I ever liked about rock-climbing, only includes water, too!! I SO want my own board!!!

I'm itching at the poison ivy I got Saturday while helping my mom rebuild her pond after the patio-guys blew concrete dye into it and killed almost everything. (long story, unhappy ending for lots of fish, toads, tadpoles, and snails).

And look what was on my bedroom floor this morning!!

You can't really see the pattern while it's on the plaid sheet, but it's HUGE! That's a full size sheet, and the shawl stretches from top to bottom!!! It's about 7 feet from point to point! And I blocked it very gently!!! (To give you an idea of size, at the bottom of the picture, just barely out of the frame, is my bed. And it's almost to the opposite wall. Of course, the drawers are great for yarn storage...)

I'll post better pics as soon as I can unpin it. It was still slightly damp this morning (it was still very wet when I pinned it out last night), and as you can see, the cats were helping by bringing toys to it. They were also rolling on it and generally trying to pluck it off the floor, but no damage is visible yet. I'll post the stats with the final pics.

And I didn't even post that I was working on it.

I've had a lot going on lately, and have been using lace as a kind of therapy. It keeps my busy enough to not think, not panic, not worry. It keeps my hands from fretting, and gives me comfort. I have toted this particular piece to at least four different doctor's offices in the effort to diagnose my health problems (which I've also minimized in the blog). I have a new one going, the one with handspun, and I have nearly 2000 yards to play with on that one. It, too, is therapy. I've gravitated away from socks for the time being, though I am still churning them out, because I can think too much. I don't want to think about what's going on. I don't want to worry. I don't want to follow the train of thought that the doctors are taking me down...

But we know some things for sure: I don't have Lupus, Lyme Disease, a heart problem, a brain tumor, MS, a thyroid problem, a hormone problem, rheumatoid or any other arthritis, metals poisoning, or a host of other frightening medical conditions.

Apparently I have a sleep disorder, and Fibromyalgia. I know, anyone who's lived with me at any time could tell me I have a sleep disorder. It's just not normal to get up, talk on the phone, walk around, and go back to bed, all while sleeping. Or the time Erik and Mo came to talk to me, and Mo was crying and I told them "Go away, I'm sleeping" and shut and locked the door in their faces? And how many times have I gotten up in the night and been sleepwalking? Or sleeptalking? I even recently found my exterior door unlocked in the morning, and I distinctly recall locking it the night before...where did I go in the night???

The Fibromyalgia, however, is something I can deal with, I think. Yeah, I'm tired, I'm sore, I get random and inexplicable pains that go away hours later by themselves...but the massages are helping, and the fact that my massage therapist has Fibro as well helps a lot! SHe encourages me to keep moving, to find my new limits, to be active as best I can but not to overdo it when I'm truly hurting. I hurt pretty much all the time now. I keep a rigid schedule, as I hurt worse if I stay up too late or get up too late in the morning. But overall I've made huge improvements in the last couple of months. I still need to go get a sleep study done, to find out why I wake up 1-20+ times each night, but I had enough energy to windsurf on Sunday, and that's enough for me!

So, if you're still with me here, thanks. I've been quite the absentee blogger, though I've been busy knitting and spinning up a storm. Slowly I'll get things up here and get the sidebar updated to reflect my finished projects. (I love spinning soy silk, by the way!!) I have no intention of turning this into a medical blog, but I will probably be posting more about what's going on. I'm a rather forward person, and I don't like hiding things. I feel dishonest. I like to tell the truth. And the truth is that I'm glad we've figured out what's going on with me, and I have lots of lave to show for the worry and fidgeting. That alpaca shawl drying on my bedroom floor is a tangible reminder of the hours spent too tired to do anything. I can wrap myself in it's warmth and sproingy goodness and be comforted by the hug. Because it is most definitely a huggy shawl - it's so sproingy and stretchy, it hugs you when you wrap it around your shoulders.

And we all need hugs, yes?

1 comment:

Renee said...

I wish you well with your diagnosis. I hope it is something minor and treatable. I can't wait to see the shawl once the blocking is over.