Distraction = Clutter?

Yesterday, Knitting Daily held a poll:  How many unfinished projects sitting around?  They specifically defined unfinished projects as projects to which we put needles to yarn with the intent to create something, not swatch or test. To actually make something.

I counted.

12.

That's far more than I ususally tell people.  That's way more than I even tell myself!  I generally like to keep 2 projects going at one time.  One that's small and portable, generally a sock, can be mitten, hat, etc.  The other project can be, and usually is, bigger and more complicated, and gets to stay at home making the laps from living room to bedroom to living room again each day, and I migrate with my knitting throughout the house.

Now I know there are lots of people out there with more unfinished projects than that.

But this was only the knitting.

I can think of at least 3 embroidery projects I've abandoned.

Let's not even get into the sewing projects abandoned and left to sit until I forget what they are.

This wouldn't necessarily be so bad, if I didn't mind it, or if I could say I truly have no intention of finishing them.  I've even given some away recently, unfinished, for others to finish and keep.

But the weight of them is crushing me.

My to-do list is so long, I'll never get to most of it.  Papers pile up on my desk regularly.  Projects I want to finish stagnate and go out of style.  My closet only holds 5 skirts and 2 dresses (one of which doesn't even fit) because I haven't gotten around to unpacking, sorting, and altering the clothes I moved over a year ago.

So what's wrong with me?

Clutter.

I've been sorting everything I own.  Slowly.  Methodically.  As time and energy permit.  But it's not going fast enough.  I have too much stuff, too much to do, too many projects.  And it's stressing me out!  I can't take it!  I want to get rid of things.  I want to remove the clutter from my life: the clutter of things, the clutter of time (too much busy-work, not enough quality), and, as I realized yesterday, the clutter of intentions.  The unfinished.  The UnDone.

So I've not gotten around to writing about stockings, because I'm running around doing other things that nee be done first, not because of importance, but because of deadlines.  Bills need paid NOW.  House needs cleaned TODAY.  Laundry needs washed IMMEDIATELY.

It's like I'm being held back from my life by all the clutter in my life.

Does that make sense?

If I didn'thave the clutter, I could think more clearly.  If I could think more clearly, I would make choices more in line with my values and desires.  If I could make better choices, I would feel less angry and frustrated about not getting to do what I want to do.  And what I want to do is get rid of clutter.

I think I'm going to be having a frogging session this weekend.  If it's not going to be finished any time soon, it's getting frogged, ripped, skeined, and put up.

I'm also going to be getting rid of a lot of yarn.  All those potential projects no longer make me feel happy, they make me feel suffocated.

And I intend to have a finishing marathon.  If it's not gone, it gets done.  Sewing, knitting, whatever.  

I can't do this anymore.

How did I ever do it?